Your Path In Life

YOUR LIFE PATH NUMBER

There is a particular period of a man's life time when a man is scientifically referred to as A FOOL(FOOL AGE).
Hence The adage ; a fool at 40 is a fool forever: it means you are permitted to be a fool before your 40th year but at 40th year, drop it. But as man evolves, the fool age decreases, maturity is quickly attained.

  What is it about the FOOL age?
It is an age you are believed  to be less aware of who you really are and where you are heading to in life. It is an age when you cannot deal with reality of life in relation to your self...
It is quite unfortunate that even at level of evolution of human race, some very large number of people still live their FOOL age beyond 20,30,40,even 50...

Your life path number :
  This is the number that saves your from Your fool age syndrome!
This number reveals to you who you are and what you should pursue in life as purpose. It inclines you to doing the right things according to your God-made module. Your life path number tells you if you are :

A leader
An essence of duality
A creative child
A corner stone
A Freedom seeker
A family man
A seeker
An authority
A humanitarian
A dreamer
An achiever
A spiritual teacher...

Identifying where you belong in the course of life is keen to your life success..  You cannot continue to pursue the right thing on a wrong path and expect your life to be in right shape...You need to learn to listen to your intuition and follow the God given path of your life according to the configuration of your soul..

Get your life path number today

Subscribe to our EVOLVE PROGRAM today to know your life path....

Set Your Relationship Right,Enjoy A Lasting Love Life...

Need relationship advice over a break up? Are you having marriage problems? Do you constantly wonder "Am I being cheated on?" We have professional love psychics who have the wisdom, clairvoyance, and medium senses to answer these important love questions for you. We have been a leading source for relationship psychic readings and love readings for long. Our community of professional online psychics are here to give you love readings and help you gain a better understanding of your romantic life.

When you contact a our love psychic for the first time, you can get a free love reading* (3 minutes free) when you register. Once your first three minutes are up, you will be asked to authorize payment if you wish to continue the call. We will never charge your card without your permission. If you prefer to contact a love psychic through a different medium, you can connect via online chat or by email reading anytime anywhere. All the psychics found on our index are online at this very second and are available to give your love reading.

Relationship psychics are here to give smart love advice, guide you through romantic problems, and help you find the answers regarding your significant other. When you get a psychic love reading, you can truly start learning about what your current relationship or desire really means. Our love psychics are special because they experience sensations and auras that may not be obvious to everyone. Using this gift, the psychics can give you insights about your love situation and predict its future. Our love and relationship psychics use several mediums to obtain your love reading, such as astrology and even love tarot card readings. 

Looking for more information about love and relationships? We has hundreds of love advice articles for relationship situations just like yours. 

Are you ready for get your free 3 minutes? CLICK HERE

Get Your Fertility Reading

Free Fertility Reading

Learn how to overcome fertility issues, discover the most conducive time to get pregnant, and gain understanding of natural fertility with a consultation with one of Life Readers professional and compassionate natural fertility experts. To begin your fertility psychic reading, select your preferred practitioner below and connect with them either via live online chat (first 4 minutes are free) or phone reading (first calls are only 19 cents per minute). It’s that simple!

If you are having trouble conceiving a child, or are wondering when the best time for conception is, your first step should be a spiritual reading from a natural fertility expert. While sometimes infertility requires medical treatment, many times the natural spiritual healing techniques of practices like Reiki or Tantra meditation are all that is required. 

The creation of life is deeply tied to your spiritual existence, and an awareness of your spiritual needs and preferences helps you understand your body’s natural fertility cycles – allowing you to choose the right time to get pregnant, and helping you understand the underlying causes behind fertility issues. Before seeking invasive medical treatments for fertility problems, you can consider a fertility psychic reading and meditative process to see if this reveals the causes of your fertility problems.

Spiritual meditation and internal insight is vital to the physical and mental health you have on your life journey. When one approaches life with the body, mind, and spirit in balance, many common physical and mental ailments can be removed from the body - unlocking the natural healing power of living in tune with nature and the spiritual energy of the universe. Often fertility is affected by diet and lifestyle issues, where your body intuitively knows you are not in the healthiest state for pregnancy and raising a child. Spiritual healing and meditative practices can help you understand the health needs specific to your body, mind, and spirit, and adjust your lifestyle to suit your specific life energy. This has a tremendous positive effect on all aspects of your life, and is often the secret to regaining your fertility and creating a child at the most spiritually conducive time.

Holistic treatment methods such as Reiki and various meditative practises are not meant to replace the medical procedures associated with resolving fertility issues – rather they aim to impart the deeper internal awareness that can identify fertility issues and other health problems that don’t need medical procedures – teaching you how to heal yourself through living a harmonious life in balance with your environment and personal needs.

   To begin your Fertility Reading , Click Here

The Vibration Of Number 9, Numerology

Number 9 Numerology

Global awareness

Ordinarily, I try to keep the math to a minimum when I discuss an aspect of Numerology. In the case of the number 9, however, the math highlights a philosophical observation that is unique, interesting and very revealing. So bear with me, please, because from a purely mathematical perspective, the 9 stands apart. Here is why:

When you multiply any number by 9, then add the resulting digits and reduce them to a single digit, it always becomes a 9. For example, 6 x 9 = 54, reduce 54 to a single digit by adding them together: 5 + 4 = 9. Similarly, 8 x 9 = 72, and 7 + 2 = 9. Or 23 x 9 = 207, 2 + 0 + 7 = 9, and so forth. There is nothing coincidental about this peculiarity. Try it. Any number, no matter how large, multiplied by 9 reduces to 9. From a numerological perspective, the 9 simply takes over, like the infamous body snatchers. Any number that was initially increased by a factor of 9 loses its own identity and instead takes on the characteristics of the 9. No other number has that quality.

A different, but no less distinctive and revealing, attribute of the 9 is that when you add (as opposed to multiply) it to any other number, then reduce that number to a single digit, it always comes back to itself, as if nothing was added at all. For example, 5 + 9 = 14, 1 + 4 = 5. Or 7 + 9 = 16, 1 + 6 = 7. 24 (which reduces to 6) + 9 = 33, 3 + 3 = 6. Again, have some fun, try it on a bunch of numbers.

This, from a numerological perspective, is actually the exact opposite of what happens when you use the 9 to multiply, because when adding it, increasing the amount by 9, it does not change anything to its initial single digit value. When multiplying, the 9 takes over ... when adding, the 9 does nothing. For a math junkie like myself, with a philosophical streak to match, this is pure beauty. It symbolically touches at the core of the magic that underlies this creation. But enough about math, let's look at the personality of this unique number.

The last of the cardinal numbers, the 9 is the most worldly and sophisticated of all numbers. The 9 has some similarities with the 6. However, whereas the 6 as a symbol of motherly (or fatherly) love, giving its love and care to friends, family and the immediate community, the 9 offers it to the world at large; the 9, more than any other number, has global consciousness. Looking at the shape of the symbol is, as always, quite telling. The 9 is like the 6 upside down, a symbol of her offering sympathy and compassion to everyone; a reservoir of giving with a generous downward spout.

The 9 lives in the world and understands the connections between all of mankind. It is a humanitarian, and sees no real difference between its neighbor next door and the person living in a very different culture and environment on the other side of the world. The 9 is the least judgmental of all numbers, the most tolerant and the most conscious.

Life Path Period

Life Path Periods

The life path has been discussed in very elementary details previously, and the life path period is an addition to this reading that should be taken into account. If we live long enough, we will experience three life path periods. As you progress into this page, think of the readings in terms of a modification or enhancement personalizing the life path reading. These readings do not replace the life path reading, but merely fine tune and customize it to the individual. Because life path periods can vary so widely, the life path we are on becomes complex and motley.

The life periods are based on the birth date. The number representing the month of birth, reduced to a single digit or master number, is the first life path period indicator. The second life path period is determined by the day of birth reduced to a single digit or master number. The final period is based on the year of birth reduced to a single digit or master number.

The timing of the first period begins at birth and continues until at least when in astrological progression the Moon has returned to its original place in the birth chart. This is about 28 years. To estimate the completion of the first period, determine the year that the subject turns 28. Next, calculate the personal yearfor the  subject that year. If it is a 1 personal year, this year should be considered the beginning of the second life path period. If it is a 2 personal year for the subject, the previous year should be considered the beginning of the second life path period. If it is a 3-9 personal year, the beginning of the second life path period will not occur until the beginning of the next nine year cycle, i.e. the next 1 personal year.

This same process should be used to determine the beginning of the third life path period. For this, it is the 1 personal year a year before, on, or after, the 56th birthday.

For example, my birth is month 2, day 8, year 1939/22. Thus, I would be 28 in 1967 (1939+28-1967) which would be a 6 personal year for me. The next, 1968 would be 7 personal year; 1969 an 8 personal year, and 1970 a 9 personal year. The year 1971 would be my next 1 personal year making this the year that my life path period changed to 8. In 1995, a 7 personal year for me, I turned 56. My next number 1 personal year came in 1998. This then was the beginning of my third life path period.

These links will take you to the three periods, early years, productive years, and later years, for each of numbers:

1 Life Path Period

Early years

In this period you will show a stronger tendency toward independence. Originality and creativity come early and continue through this period. You have the ability to lead early on, but at a time when the emphasis is on learning to follow, this can be a problem. You do have a good deal of early self-confidence and individuality which can help you achieve early successes. You are aggressive in your early career path.

Productive years

In this period you will have more drive and determination thanks to the 1 life path period. If you have other indicators that you would do well in business for yourself, this life path period would be time to move in that direction. Your demeanor now is highly independent and leadership skills are sharpened. The potential pitfalls here are letting ego go a little out of control and perhaps showing a lack of patience at times.

Later years

New challenges may continue to appear even in your later years. In this period you may achieve the recognition that eluded you earlier, and this may mean it will be hard to kick back and take life easy. A 1 life path period does not lend itself to early retirement and leisure activities. Indeed, this may become the most active time of your life.

2 Life Path Period

Early years

This is a difficult life path period for a young child since it suggests that emotions may run high and sensitivities to many things may be present. On the positive side, this influence may be helpful for developing any artistic talents. The 2 period may be one in which you will be required to be helpful, supportive, and willing to adapt in general. A tendency to have emotional reactions to problems and confrontation may follow you into early adulthood.

Productive years

The 2 lifepath period suggests that you will profit from your ability to work together with others in harmony and cooperation. In these years your ability to use skills in diplomacy and mediation will be pronounced. The affairs of others and their success may be the key to your own advancement. Pushing your own agenda doesn't work as well now. The need is to control hyperactive emotions that may appear from time to time.

Later years

The 2 lifepath period in the later years promises a good retirement with many friends and opportunities. Your influence now will be based on your ability to bring together diverse opinions and ideas. Friends and family, and especially a close relationship is all important to your happiness now. Having close connections is vital to your health and wellbeing in your senior years.

3 Life Path Period

Early years

The 3 is an excellent lifepath period for a young person because of its inclination toward the development of expression. Any talents you may have in creative or artistic endeavors are encouraged during this period. Emotions may be high and hyperactive tendencies can be present. Making friends and enjoying social interactions will come easily now. Enjoy life as this is the tone of the 3 period, but be careful not to scatter your activities to the point that you fail to make progress on anything.

Productive years

This is likely to be a very pleasant, carefree and creative time in your life. Being original and using your talents of expression will find you furthering your career and your life in general. If there is a pitfall during this time it is becoming overly optimistic and extravagant, and spreading your talents too thin. In all this is a period that offers much happiness in exchange for a minimum of planning and concentration.

Later years

A 3 period in later life suggests an active social life with numerous hobbies and activities. If you are a creative person, this late life period may become your most prolific and fruitful. Indeed, this may be the time to write that book you have thought about, a time to learn a new method of expression perhaps, or simply let your imagination run free. Enjoy yourself, it won't be that terribly hard now.

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4 Life Path Period

Early years

A 4 life path period is not much fun for a young person. It suggests that learning is difficult or the demands placed upon you to learn were harsh and burdensome. Now you have to build a solid foundation and the tone is one of learning practicality, order, and routine. Often this period denotes growing up with limited resources or restrictions of some sort. The demands often set the stage for later successes. You are to be very well prepared to start your career in early adulthood.

Productive years

This period is a time to build and develop ideas into a tactile form. Now is a time that you become more of a builder, a better organizer, and perhaps even a more stable and secure person. Your judgment and decisions take on more conservatism and practicality, and they are based on careful and more thoughtful planning. You are apt to be more serious about your work and perhaps devote more time to it, too. Be careful not to become a workaholic. With a 4 lifepath period you must be constantly reminded to take the time to smell the roses.

Later years

The 4 period in the later years suggests a period that predicts work rather than retirement. Whether by choice or by necessity, you are apt to keep your nose to the grindstone a lot longer than most of your peers. Even if you do retire, you will want to keep working on hobbies and avocation long after others have opted for the rocking chair. If you own your own business, it may be hard to accept that fact that things can run without your ever present attention.

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5 Life Path Period

Early years

The 5 period early in life can be difficult because it often lacks the stability and certainty that you may wish for. This period often features changes and emphases freedom of thought and activity. You are likely to be constantly looking for something new, something exciting, something less boring to stimulate your expansive mind. During this time you will be an explorer and a wanderer. Whether this is a positive or a negative trait only time will tell. At any rate you are driven by curiosity and adventure. A restless nature often results, and as you progress into adulthood, a number of job or career changes may occur.

Productive years

In this period you are ever ready to accept change, progress, and new ideas. Likewise you are quick, some times too quick, to dump the old, old jobs, old activities, even old relationships. Sometimes this is good, sometime not so good. At any rate this 5 period suggests that you are more impulsive now and the test will be to see if you can handle the increased freedom you are feeling with constructive judgment. If so, you will find this is a period that can and should produce remarkable results.

Later years

With the 5 period occurring late in life, be prepared for a never ending series of adventures and expansive travel so long as the resources hold out. Actually, however, many with a late life 5 period choose to continue to work because of the sense of freedom found in their endeavors now; so long as the work is not boring or routine, there may be no reason to quit. This influence will continue to send you off to find new challenges and try new things. You are never too old to learn.

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6 Life Path Period

Early years

The 6 period produces a need to be needed, and you probably want to help your parents or your brothers, sisters, and friends in whatever way you can. In some cases, this period is one in which the subject is required or somehow forced to take on more than a normal amount of responsibility at an early age. Generally, this early time in the life is marked by obvious attempts to be helpful and even nurturing to others. In early adulthood there is a strong sense of responsibility and caring.

Productive years

Through these years you will find yourself getting ahead only after you have made the personal sacrifices necessary to benefit others in need. Much of your life in this period will tend to be centered around your home and family. This is not a period that lends itself to dramatic enrichment because you tend to be more selfless and less demanding of personal rewards. Your opportunities may be as an idealist, a mediator, and perhaps even a leader in your community. Certainly the focus of the period is associated with family and domestic concerns.

Later years

The 6 period late in life is usually a happy and content time. It denotes a tendency to accept responsibility and lend a helping hand to those around you. You are not likely to be lonely in your later years since family and domestic matters will probably be emphasized during this time. Indeed, you may help or even be responsible for rearing a grandchild or two.

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7 Life Path Period

Early years

If there is a problem with the 7 period in early life it is being misunderstood or considered "difficult." In this period you may have the sense that you are different from your peers. You repel conformity. The 7 period makes you inclined to seek and absorb learning as a primary focus. The fact that you don't feel very comfortable in your environment is to be expected. Your natural curiosity and inquisitive mind will take you far during this period.

Productive years

The 7 period in the productive years is excellent for one continuing studies and analysis into mid life. The tendency is to strive for mental growth and development and you are apt to be in the process of expanding your areas of interest now. This period is a plus if you are engaged in academic pursuits, but otherwise progress may be slow. It is hard to force yourself to seek opportunity now, and if you do, it will probably be to no avail. Perhaps it will come to you if you get prepared.

Later years

When the 7 period occurs in later life you may find yourself engaged in study as never before in your life. This period may find you writing more, engaged in some form of research, or venturing into new and interesting subjects. This is not a very social period and indeed there is concern that you may become increasingly isolated by your own choosing.

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8 Life Path Period

Early years

An 8 period in early life stresses the practical and the material. This is not the stuff of a good childhood experience as it may tend to elevate the importance of material success at an inappropriate age. For the less affluent, there may be too much interest in achieving material goals. This period may have its positive side in preparing a relatively young person for financial and material success. You may go into business early in life with the tools to succeed.

Productive years

The 8 lifepath period in the productive years may push you to a level of success that would not have otherwise been attained. This period denotes a time when attainment, authority, and general business acumen is brought to foreground. You will want to set your goals high and do everything in a big way. If you have the inherent management abilities, this period will accelerate your prestige and attainments.

Later years

With the 8 lifepath period in later life, it is suggested that your greatest achievements may be yet to come. If all you have lacked before is good management, now may be your time to shine. In retirement you may find yourself deeply involved in clubs, organizations and perhaps government entities. Your contribution to these can be important for your sense of accomplishment and for your social life at this time.

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9 Life Path Period

Early years

The 9 lifepath is difficult for a young person because so much is expected of them in terms of feeling compassion and tolerance. The youthful years are by nature selfish years and the 9 period stifles this sense of being self absorbed. While the upbringing under this influence can be helpful in the future, often the period brings periods of feeling lonely, unappreciated and unsure of self. The lesson of the 9 is that life is universal rather than personal, and thus, those with this early path may have a head start.

Productive years

With the 9 in the productive years you may find yourself becoming more of a humanitarian. You may find it easier to express compassion, sympathy, understanding and tolerance while in this period. This can be an emotional cycle and one of significant personal growth. You may be called on to overcome disappointments and setbacks, but the potential for gain in this period is significant.

Later years

The 9 period in the later years generally signifies a settled and happy life at this juncture. You are inclined to positive feelings toward the world, and you will want to share your experiences to a greater extent. You may engage in many positive works benefiting mankind or just a few needy souls in your immediate environment. The lesson of the number is learning to give without expecting to get something back. If you have learned this by this time, this period may well be the best part of your life.

HOW TO GET YOUR SPOUSE TO CHANGE

HOW TO GET YOUR SPOUSE TO CHANGE

In your quest to fix your marriage, you may
encounter resistance--from your spouse!

Your spouse may dwell on the 101 reasons why "this
just won't work for us" and blame you for every
one.

Or, your spouse may be emotionally "checked-out"
of the marriage and not care about your efforts to
improve the situation or be willing to extend any
effort of their own.

This is, by far, the most common question people
ask me: "How do I get my spouse to change?"

Why would your spouse resist POSITIVE change in
your marriage and what should you do about it?

Hi, I'm Mort Fertel, author of Marriage Fitness.

There's a deep-seeded belief in our culture that
people resist change, no matter what. But is this
true? Do people really want things to remain
status quo? Do we really not want things to
change? If you look closely at human nature, it's
not change itself we resist; it's change that's
IMPOSED UPON US.

Think about it. We have no problem with change
that WE INITIATE ourselves. But when we feel
forced or manipulated to change, then we resist
WITH ALL OUR MIGHT.

Your spouse may not be willing to change for the
sake of your marriage right now, but that’s not
because your spouse doesn’t want a great marriage.
Everyone wants a great marriage. It’s because if
they’re going to change, they want the change to
be THEIR IDEA!!!!!!

I promise you; your spouse will decide to change
when they’re ready to change and not one second
before. And the more you push them, urge them,
nudge them, ask them, scream at them, or beg them,
the LESS LIKELY they are to change. I know it’s
hard to wait, but you have to let it come from them.

It’s possible someone could INSPIRE your spouse to
change, but the person LEAST LIKELY to be the
inspiration is YOU. It’s sad but true. A complete
stranger is more likely to get through to your
spouse than you are. A chance experience or
encounter is more likely to shake up your spouse
than anything YOU could do.

Mary Ellen (name changed) came to me for marriage
coaching. She knew she had to make changes and
came to our sessions with a genuine interest to
improve her marriage. She wanted Tom (her husband)
to be part of the process, but he wasn’t willing
to join her. She had been asking him to go with
her to get help for over a year. But Tom
consistently refused.

I met with Mary Ellen twice and convinced her to
back-off Tom and just let him be for a while. I
counseled her to make some changes that created a
more positive energy in their relationship. When
the time was right, I suggested that Mary Ellen
ask Tom is he would be willing to speak with ME
for 10 minutes. Mary Ellen’s timing was good. Tom
agreed.

Within 7 minutes of my conversation with Tom he
agreed to join Mary Ellen in the marriage coaching
sessions.

Why was I able to get Tom to agree to something in
7 minutes that Mary Ellen couldn’t get him to do
in over a year? It’s true I know how to handle
these situations, but there were 2 other important
factors:

1. For the first time in over a year, Mary Ellen
backed-off far enough so that Tom had the space to
make his own choice.

2. The inspiration came from someone other than
his wife.

Your effort to change your spouse is probably
COUNTERproductive. The chances are good that
you’re "in the way." You need to get out of the
way and create the space for your spouse to CHOOSE
to change. That’s the only way it’ll ever happen.

I can’t tell you how times a spouse will say to me
that their husband/wife changed for a few days,
but then returned to their old ways. That’s
because they never really decided to change. They
were pressured. They were manipulated. And so it
didn’t stick.

If you tell your spouse what to do; it's a
challenge. If THEY decide to do it; it's a great
idea. YOU HAVE TO LET IT COME FROM THEM. That's
the only way it'll make a difference long term in
your marriage.

Now you're probably thinking, "Makes sense, but
isn't there anything I can do to encourage my
spouse's choice?" YES, there is! YOU CAN BE AN
INSPIRING EXAMPLE and let your spouse see how
the choices YOU'RE making impact how YOU feel
about yourself and your marriage.

Resist the urge to believe that your marriage
won’t change until your spouse "gets with the
program." The love YOU feel is much more a result
of what YOU DO for your marriage than what your
spouse does for it.

We tend to think that the love in our marriage is
in our spouse's hands. But it's not. Love is a
verb. And if we do it--if we love--then we feel
love. THE CHOICE IS OURS.

Consider the love you feel for your children. Is
it because of everything they do for you? Is it
because they’re such angels? Of course not. The
love you feel for your children is a result of
what YOU DO FOR THEM. The love you feel in your
marriage is a result of what YOU DO too.

Furthermore, there's no better way to inspire your
spouse to make the choice to change than to make
that choice yourself.

It happens quite often that one spouse will
register for the Marriage Fitness Tele-Boot Camp
in the "Lone Ranger" track and then half way
through the program they will switch to the "Duo"
track which is designed for couples participating
TOGETHER. What caused their spouse to change their
mind? Simple. 2 things. First, they learned to
create a space in their relationship for their
spouse to make a choice to change. Second, they
showed their spouse, through their EXAMPLE, how to
make that choice and the impact it could have on
their marriage.

Very often one spouse will come to me for marriage
coaching and ask if it makes sense for them to be
coached alone. The answer, is ABSOLUTELY yes! One
spouse can make more than a 50% difference in a
marriage. And that difference is often exactly what
will get the other spouse to open up to marriage
coaching too.
HOW TO GET YOUR SPOUSE TO CHANGE


"You can lead me a mile, but you can’t push me an
inch."

So, bottom line...as Mahatma Gandhi said, "You must
be the change you wish to see..." It's YOU
changing that has the greatest impact on YOUR
EXPERIENCE of your marriage AND it's YOU changing
that is the single most important thing you can do
to motivate your spouse to change.

If you’re ready to learn what changes you need to
make in your marriage and if you want to learn how
to inspire your spouse to begin to make changes
too, then subscribe to my FREE breakthrough report
"7 Secrets to a Stronger Marriage" and get a FREE
marriage assessment too. To subscribe, Click Here
It's FREE.

Warm regards,
Mort Fertel
Author of Marriage Fitness
Marriage Coach

A SURPRISING SOLUTION TO YOUR MARITAL PROBLEMS

A SURPRISING SOLUTION TO YOUR MARITAL PROBLEMS

If you're reading an article about how to improve your marriage, you're probably expecting to learn problem-solving strategies, communication techniques, and insights about gender differences. Do I have a SURPRISE for you!

The key to renewing your marriage is none of those things.

How do I know this? Because I experienced it!

Hi, my name is Mort Fertel, author of Marriage Fitness, and unlike other relationship experts who approach the topic from a clinical perspective, for me marriage renewal is very personal. I'd like to share with you my story.

My wife and I started out deeply in love. I remember staying up all night talking, surprising each other with thoughtful gifts, and speaking to each other in code words. You know the feeling of really being connected? That was us.

But then something happened that destroys most marriages. We had a son who died when he was just one week old. And then we had twin daughters, who also died as newborns.

Understandably, my wife became depressed. I coped by immersing myself in work. We ran from each other emotionally.

Your situation probably was not so tragic, but something happened. What was it? How did you lose each other? Maybe you can't put your finger on it, but things just aren’t the same, right?

For us, after losing 3 children, everything felt different. Instead of talking all night, it was a chore to talk for a few minutes. Instead of using our code words, we used curse words. Our relationship consisted of screaming matches and silent treatments.

Somewhere deep in our heart though, like you, we knew we didn't want to lose each other. So we made a commitment to work on our marriage. Sometimes I tried and my wife didn’t. Sometimes my wife tried and I didn’t. We went through different stages of “trying.”

What did we try?

We tried the obligatory, "Honey, let me repeat what you said to make sure I understood you correctly." We applied conflict resolution strategies. My wife learned about Mars and I learned about Venus. We even went to therapy to wrestle with our problems. But guess what. Nothing changed. Nothing worked.

All the advice we got (books, counselors, CD's, whatever) asked us to face our problems. But that just made us feel worse. And fight more.

Then we had a breakthrough.

We decided to SET ASIDE OUR PROBLEMS and try to CONNECT with each other.

We used "POSITIVE relationship exercises" that transformed our marriage. Not only did we resolve our differences, we fell in love again! And we did it—not by dealing with our problems (as serious as they were)—but by establishing HEALTHY HABITS that brought positive energy to our relationship.

This is the solution to most marital situations! Believe it or not, the secret is to STEP AWAY FROM YOUR PROBLEMS and SPEND YOUR TIME AND ENERGY building your relationship through POSITIVE ACTIONS.

It's counter intuitive, but if you strengthen your relationship, most of your problems will dissipate and what remains of them can be more easily resolved in a safer, softer, and more forgiving marital environment.

Before you deal with your problems, you first have to build good will with each other.

If your marriage is stressed, do NOT tackle your problems. If your timing is off, trying to solve problems with your spouse will damage your marriage and make it LESS LIKELY that you'll ever find resolution.

If you have lower-back problems, sometimes the solution is to do sit-ups. Strengthening one part of your body can heal another. Your marriage works in a similar way.

Now you can see why my system for relationship renewal, Marriage Fitness, is fundamentally different from any other approach to relationship success. It’s not about conflict-resolution or communication skills because these are NOT the key to renewing a marriage. The key is NOT to fix what’s wrong. The key is to make new things right.

And there are, in fact, specific things you can do (with or without your spouse) to make things right in your marriage.

Just as there are physical laws of the universe (such as gravity), there are also laws for relationships. Just as the right diet and exercise program makes you physically stronger, certain habits in your relationship WILL make your marriage stronger. It's a direct cause and effect. If you know and apply the laws, the results are predictable—you can “make” love.

Marriage Fitness offers you a step-by-step system to make and maintain love in your marriage. The program works for any marriage even if only one spouse does it. And the best news is that you don't have to dig into your past, dredge up your problems, or practice communication techniques. This is not marriage counseling; it's Marriage Fitness.

To receive the FREE breakthrough report "7 Secrets for a Stronger Marriage," a FREE confidential marriage assessment, and FREE information about the Marriage Fitness system of relationship renewal, Go Here.

Warm regards,
Mort Fertel
Author of Marriage Fitness
Marriage Coach

HOW TO RENEW YOUR MARRIAGE WITH 1 DECISION

HOW TO RENEW YOUR MARRIAGE WITH 1 DECISION

Were your mom and dad happily married? Is your marriage like theirs was?

If you’re having marriage problems, the chances are good that your parents struggled in their marriage too. Research shows that if your parents divorced, then your marriage is more likely to end in divorce as well.

Hi. I’m Mort Fertel, author of Marriage Fitness.

Freud documented well the impact that heredity and upbringing has on a person’s fate. We learn “tapes” early-on that we play again and again oblivious to how they control (and destroy) our lives. But does that mean the destiny of your marriage was determined years ago? Does that mean your fate was sealed by your genes and your childhood?

There is no doubt that you have deeply rooted relationship instincts. But those instincts do NOT have you.

Your past constantly vies for control of your future, but at the end of the day YOU have a CHOICE. Your domain is this moment, and every moment, when you can DECIDE to write a new script. At any time, in every time, you can decide to be the master of your destiny; rather than a victim to your past.

This, by the way, is the real value in understanding your past and your childhood roots. So that you can consciously REJECT what you know doesn’t work and replace old habits with new ways.

This, of course, is no simple task. Not only because it’s hard to break old habits and learn new ways, but also because most people are more comfortable doing what’s familiar yet destructive rather than what’s constructive but unfamiliar. In other words, most people are happier doing what they know doesn’t work than they are working on something that they don’t know.

But that’s what it takes to be a “transition person.” A transition person is someone who breaks free from unhealthy relationship patterns that have been in their family for generations. You are by no means a product solely of your heredity or environment. There is a third element: YOUR DECISION. And that trumps ALL past events.

By the way, this, in my opinion, is the real meaning of marriage education…educating someone to acquire the ability to CHOOSE their behavior.

A successful marriage is not something that just happens; you have to craft it. It’s a result of deliberate and conscience decisions to make a new way in your relationship.

If you’re ready to script a new chapter in your marriage and learn how to make a new way in your relationship, then subscribe to my FREE breakthrough report "7 Secrets to a Stronger Marriage" and get a FREE marriage assessment too. To subscribe,Go here
It's FREE.

Mort Fertel
Author of Marriage Fitness
Marriage Coach

HOW TO FORGIVE AND BE FORGIVEN

HOW TO FORGIVE AND BE FORGIVEN

The closer you are to someone, the more likely you are to step on their toes. And being married to someone certainly puts you in close quarters. So the chances are good that you and your spouse have sore feet.

Okay, enough of the smelly metaphor. The point is that it's NORMAL for you and your spouse to err and for those "misses" to cause hurt…sometimes serious hurt.

Did your spouse hurt you? Have you made mistakes that hurt your spouse?

Hi. I’m Mort Fertel, author of Marriage Fitness.

Except in the case of physical abuse, you can "move on" from anything. In fact, your marriage can end up even BETTER!

I know…you're probably thinking, “Better? How could it be better than before we screwed up?”

It CAN be better, but you have to do one thing first. You have to forgive.

What does it REALLY mean to forgive?

Many people will say, “I forgive you,” but continue to harbor anger in their heart. Some people say the words, but it's obvious from their actions that things are still different.

Other people will say “I forgive you” but what they really mean is, “I don't want to talk about this. I can't deal with this. I'm turning you off.” And so the 3 magic words come out and form a wall that shuts out their spouse. True, they're not angry, but that's because they've shut down all emotion and refuse to reconnect.

Saying “I forgive you” is an entirely different ball game than truly forgiving.

Look carefully at the word “forgive.” It tells you what it means. “For-Give”…in other words, to GIVE as you did beFORE.

That's true forgiveness. When you GIVE of yourself like you did beFORE you were hurt, then you know you’ve forgiven. When you stand as close to your spouse as you stood the day your feet got stepped on—that's forgiveness.

That's not easy to do. But it is possible. You can forgive each other and move on. And once you forgive, you'll see that your marriage will be BETTER than it was before. You'll be happy that the mistake was made (in a strange way) because you'll realize that you would never have achieved the love you finally did without that mistake as your catalyst.

Did you know that when a broken bone heals, it's stronger than it was before it was broken? You too can be STRONGER than before things broke down between you and your spouse.

Did you ever make love after a big fight? Did you ever think after you made-up, “Hey, this is great? We should fight more often.” (Ha Ha) Sometimes the highest-highs follow the lowest-lows.

But you have to know how to reconcile. You have to know how to get to a place of sincere forgiveness. If you want to achieve that and if you want to learn how to renew your marriage, then subscribe to my FREE breakthrough report "7 Secrets to a Stronger Marriage" and get a FREE marriage assessment too. To subscribe, Go Here. It's FREE.

Mort Fertel
Author of Marriage Fitness
Marriage Coach

HOW DO YOU KNOW IF YOU MARRIED THE RIGHT PERSON?

HOW DO YOU KNOW IF YOU MARRIED THE RIGHT PERSON?

During one of my live seminars, a woman asked me a common question. She said, “How do I know if I married the right person?”

I noticed that there was a large man sitting next to her so I said, “It depends. Is that your husband?”

In all seriousness, how do you know?

Hi. I’m Mort Fertel, author of Marriage Fitness, and here’s the answer.

EVERY relationship has a cycle. In the beginning, you fell in love with your spouse. You anticipated their call, wanted their touch, and liked their idiosyncrasies.

Falling in love with your spouse wasn’t hard. In fact, it was a completely natural and spontaneous experience. You didn’t have to DO anything. That’s why it’s called “falling” in love…because it’s happening TO YOU.

People in love sometimes say, “I was swept of my feet.” Think about the imagery of that expression. It implies that you were just standing there; doing nothing, and then something came along and happened TO YOU.

Falling is love is easy. It’s a passive and spontaneous experience.

But after a few years of marriage, the euphoria of love fades. It’s the natural cycle of EVERY relationship. Slowly but surely, phone calls become a bother (if they come at all), touch is not always welcome (when it happens), and your spouse’s idiosyncrasies, instead of being cute, drive you nuts.

The symptoms of this stage vary with every relationship, but if you think about your marriage, you will notice a dramatic difference between the initial stage when you were in love and a much duller or even angry subsequent stage.

At this point, you and/or your spouse might start asking, “Did I marry the right person?” And as you and your spouse reflect on the euphoria of the love you once had, you may begin to desire that experience with someone else. This is when marriages breakdown. People blame their spouse for their unhappiness and look outside their marriage for fulfillment.

Extramarital fulfillment comes in all shapes and sizes. Infidelity is the most obvious. But sometimes people turn to work, church, a hobby, a friendship, excessive TV, or abusive substances.

But the answer to this dilemma does NOT lie outside your marriage. It lies within it.

I’m not saying that you couldn’t fall in love with someone else. You could. And TEMPORARILY you’d feel better. But you’d be in the same situation a few years later. Because (listen carefully) THE KEY TO SUCCEEDING IN MARRIAGE IS NOT FINDING THE RIGHT PERSON; IT’S LEARNING TO LOVE THE PERSON YOU FOUND.

SUSTAINING love is not a passive or spontaneous experience. It’ll NEVER just happen to you. You can’t “find” LASTING love. You have to “make” it day in and day out. That’s why we have the expression “the labor of love.” Because it takes time, effort, and energy. And most importantly, it takes WISDOM. You have to know WHAT TO DO to make your marriage work.

And make no mistake about it. Love is NOT a mystery. There are specific things you can do (with or without your spouse) to succeed with your marriage.

Just as there are physical laws of the universe (such as gravity), there are also laws for relationships. Just as the right diet and exercise program makes you physically stronger, certain habits in your relationship WILL make your marriage stronger. It's a direct cause and effect. If you know and apply the laws, the results are predictable—you can “make” love.

That’s why I created the Marriage Fitness system. So you would have a step-by-step system for making and maintaining love in your marriage. And the program works for any marriage even if only one spouse does it. If you’d like to explore Marriage Fitness risk-free, then subscribe to my FREE breakthrough report "7 Secrets to a Stronger Marriage" and get a FREE marriage assessment too. To subscribe, Go Here. It’s FREE.

Mort Fertel
Author of Marriage Fitness
Marriage Coach

HOW DO YOU KNOW WHEN TO CALL IT QUITS?

HOW DO YOU KNOW WHEN TO CALL IT QUITS?

One of the questions I'm most frequently asked is, “How do you know when it's time to quit?”

Hi. I’m Mort Fertel, author of Marriage Fitness, and in terms of when to give up on your marriage, here's what I recommend.

If divorcing is a consideration for you from a moral perspective, then before you go that route, try first for at least one year.

Did you hear that?

Try for at least one year!

And I mean REALLY try. You can always call it quits. You always have that option. But once you pull that trigger, it's over. No more chances. Your life will never be the same. Do you have kids? If you do, their life will never be the same.

If you end your marriage, you don't want there to be a shred of doubt in your mind. You don't ever want to look back and wonder if things could have been different. You don't want to ask yourself, “What if this…and what if that…what if I tried this…what if I did that?”

If you have to end your marriage, you want to know DEEP IN YOUR HEART that you did everything you could to make it work.

If you have to end it, you want to be able to move on with your life and into another relationship with a clear head. You want to come to a place of healthy “completion.” THIS IS CRUCIAL! And to accomplish this, in my experience, it takes at least one year. I know it probably seems like a long time, but it's an investment in the rest of your life.

Here's the key point. Listen carefully. It's a good investment for the rest of your life WHETHER YOUR MARRIAGE SUCCEEDS OR NOT. Obviously, it's a good investment if you turn your marriage around. But if you don't, it will NOT have been a wasted year. It will have been the most important thing you could have done with that year because of how your effort will impact the rest of your life AND YOUR NEXT RELATIONSHIP.

I have seen too many cases of spouses ending their marriage prematurely, and as result of not reaching “completion” in one relationship, they find themselves in the same situation a few years later with someone else.

The work I do with marriage coaching clients sometimes turns out to be more beneficial for them in their next relationship than in their current one.

I remember once when the marriage of someone who registered for the Lone Ranger track of the Marriage Fitness Tele-Boot Camp ended in the middle of the program. This man asked me if he should continue with the final 3 weeks of the program. I said, “Absolutely.”

He responded, “Why? What's the point? My marriage is over.”

“You're not doing it for this marriage,” I explained. “You're doing it for the benefit of your next one.”

Now don't get me wrong. I'm not saying that your intention while you're working on your marriage should be for the benefit of your life after your marriage. Your intention needs to be to restore your CURRENT relationship. But if you fail, your effort will NOT have been for naught.

Bottom line is this. If you're asking, “When is it time to call it quits?” The answer is: one year after you think you're done. If after one year of trying everything in your power to make your marriage work you're still miserable, then you should consider moving on. Until then, hang in there and don't give up.

This topic reminds me of my situation many years ago. I remember learning late one night that my wife had an appointment with a divorce attorney the next morning. We were hours from “done.” Who would have ever thought that we could turn things around at that point?

It's NEVER too late! In fact (and here's real food for thought), very often the turning point in a marriage is when a couple hits rock bottom. Sometimes it's not until things couldn't get worse that they can get better.

I wish you and your spouse the best. If you’d like further information to help with your marriage, then subscribe to my FREE breakthrough report "7 Secrets to a Stronger Marriage" and get a FREE marriage assessment too. To subscribe, Go Here . It’s FREE.

Mort Fertel
Author of Marriage Fitness
Marriage Coach

HOW TO KNOW IF YOUR MARRIAGE WILL SURVIVE

HOW TO KNOW IF YOUR MARRIAGE WILL SURVIVE

Do you know whether or not your marriage will make it? I can tell you with near certainty.

Hi. I’m Mort Fertel, author of Marriage Fitness.

If you had to pick ONE THING that best predicts whether or not your marriage will succeed, what would you pick?

You might say “conflict.” If you fight a lot, then that’s not a good sign, right? WRONG.

Would you believe that it’s the opposite?! That’s right; research shows that the number one predictor of divorce is the habitual AVOIDANCE of conflict. In other words, a couple who does NOT fight is at the greatest risk for divorce.

A couple came to me for private phone sessions and I asked them what was going on in their relationship.

“We never talk,” Kathy said.

“Why not,” I asked.

“Because we realized that that’s when we fight,” she responded.

Isn’t it ironic? We try to avoid conflict with our spouse for the benefit of our relationship. But there’s nothing MORE damaging to your marriage than NOT fighting.

Hate is not the opposite of love; apathy is! Hate is close to love. To hate someone, you have to CARE about them.

Did you ever feel hate for your mailman? How about the clerk at the supermarket? You never hated them because you don’t care about them. That’s the opposite of love.

But the closer you are to someone the more likely it is that you step on each other’s toes. Hate is actually a sign of hope. It means you care. It means you’re close. Apathy, on the other hand, is cause for great concern.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not advising you to go pick a fight with your spouse. You can’t fight so that you’ll have a good marriage. I didn’t say fighting is healthy. I said people in healthy marriages fight. In other words, the fact that you fight is a sign that deep down you really love each other, that your relationship has potential. But if you want to be happily married, you have to learn to fight WELL.

Successful couples know how to discuss their differences. This is not something that comes naturally to anyone; it’s a learned skill. And once you learn it, all the energy that goes into your fights propels your relationship forward.

EVERY successful couple has areas of disagreement. No two people are perfectly compatible. “Irreconcilable differences” are like a bad knee or a chronic back—they’re part of every good marriage.

The key to succeeding in marriage is not finding the right person; it’s learning to fight well with the person you found. You’ll have “irreconcilable differences” with anyone you pick. The question is whether or not you can learn to discuss them.

If you’d like to learn how to discuss them as well as other marriage renewal tips, then subscribe to my FREE breakthrough report "7 Secrets to a Stronger Marriage" and get a FREE marriage assessment too. To subscribe, Click Here. It’s FREE.

Mort Fertel
Author of Marriage Fitness
Marriage Coach

I LOVE YOU BUT I’M NOT “IN LOVE” WITH YOU

I LOVE YOU BUT I’M NOT “IN LOVE” WITH YOU

Did your spouse tell you, “I love you, but I’m not IN LOVE with you?”

What does that statement mean?

Hi. I’m Mort Fertel, author of Marriage Fitness.

A person who says, “I love you, but I’m not IN LOVE with you,” is making a distinction between 2 different feelings. But NEITHER of those feelings are love!

When a person says, “I love you, but I’m not IN LOVE with you,” they’re saying that I CARE about you but I’m not EXCITED about you.

CARING about someone is a good thing. It’s reflective of CONCERN. But it’s different than love. I care about the starving children in Africa, but I don’t love them.

Being EXCITED about someone is also a good thing. But it’s different than love. I might be excited to have a relationship with the President of the United States or a Hollywood star, but that doesn’t mean I love them.

While someone who says, “I love you, but I’m not IN LOVE with you” seems to be making a distinction between “different loves;” in fact, they are expressing their confusion about what love really is. And that’s why they’re having marital problems and maybe even an affair (because who are they IN LOVE with?).

Love is something we articulate in the vocabulary of ACTION. Love is a verb. It’s not a feeling you get from another PERSON; it’s an experience you receive as a result of DEEDS YOU DO for another person.
And those deeds are not a secret. In other words, love is NOT a mystery! There are specific things you can do with your spouse to solve your problems and build love in your marriage.
Just as there are physical laws of the universe (such as gravity), there are also laws for relationships. Just as the right diet and exercise program makes you physically stronger, certain habits in your relationship WILL make your marriage stronger. It's a direct cause and effect. If you know and apply the laws, the results are predictable—you can “make” love.
This is exactly why I created the Marriage Fitness program. I wanted to offer people a step-by-step system to make and maintain love in their marriage. And the program works for any marriage, even if only one spouse does it.
Very often in my private coaching sessions, someone will say to me, “I love my spouse, but I’m not IN LOVE with my spouse.”

My immediate response is to ask, “Can you list for me 5 ways in the last week that you’ve DEMONSTRATED your love for your spouse?”

I usually hear noise on the other end of the phone; grunts, partial statements, and gasps for breath, but none of what I hear ever passes for an answer to my question.

“I love you, but I’m not IN LOVE with you” is a cop out. It basically means that I have no clue how to make a relationship last LONG-TERM so I’m exiting to get high from another short-term romance. But whoever they’re IN LOVE with now will also eventually hear, “I love you, but I’m not IN LOVE with you.”

Of course, this is all fine and good, but it’s really your spouse who needs to hear this, right?

Do NOT print this email out and give it to them. And do NOT tell them what I said.

Getting your spouse from “I love you, but I’m not IN LOVE with you” to “Okay, let’s give this another chance” is a tricky task. If this is your situation, it’s crucial you handle it strategically. One false step and your marriage could be over. If you take the right steps, you can draw your spouse back in and begin to restore your marriage TOGETHER. How do you do that?

Learn more about the Marriage Fitness system of relationship renewal by subscribing to my FREE report, “7 Secrets for a Stronger Marriage” and getting a FREE marriage assessment. Go Here to subscribe. It’s FREE.

Warm regards,
Mort Fertel
Author of Marriage Fitness
Marriage Coach